Winter Blues

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Where to begin with this blog post, that is most definitely the question?! There are so many conflicting issues making their home in my head at the moment I honestly don’t know whether I’m coming or going. I guess I could start with the recurrent pangs for my (only recently left behind) London life – and yes, I am fully aware of the irony…. couldn’t wait to get out and now I’m practically screaming to get back.

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I probably did take way too many things for granted, all of which have become crushingly apparent since we’ve come to Cornwall. No impromtu coffee/cocktails for me (my nearest girlfriend lives an hour away and I don’t drive!) – and even though she was rarely home, I do actually miss my Sister and her bonafide crazy ways.

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And then there’s the work situation. Working from home has its perks for sure but I’m genuinely craving the company of others during the day – there’s a lot to be said for background noise that is not the television. I’m not exactly a talkative person in the office but I’m a keen listener, and for some reason it does seem to help my concentration when writing.

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Ugh, and how could I forget the fact I’m miles from an airport – or at least one with direct flights to Ireland, which is also beginning to make me jumpy. Is this what feeling homesick is like? I can’t say I’ve ever really experienced it but I’m certain this might be it. I still haven’t managed to sort out my passport since it was stolen in Barcelona (why do they make it so f**king hard, it’s not like it was my fault?!!!) which is irritating my Mother as much as it is me. Today though I took the bull by the horns and went into town to try and get the correct forms (I’ve given up on replacing my Irish one because it was borderline farcical) and all important photos.

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Going into town shouldn’t be a big deal, especially as we live smack bang in the middle of it, but dragging my ass out of the house is becoming increasingly difficult. The only thing that makes it bearable are the copious charity shops that line the main thoroughfare and the fact I can be back at the house in minutes should the situation become all too much. Sound insane – and ever so slightly agoraphobic? Just being honest folks (not always a good thing I’ve discovered) but hopefully this whole ‘we’ve made a terrible mistake’ situation will resolve itself soon. In the meantime, I shall console myself with pistachios – worked when I was a teen so it’s certainly worth a go now. Oh life.

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what i’m wearing… rust cords/anthropologie… polo neck/primark… striped blazer/topshop… blue scarf/charity shop… faux fur hat/vintage… faux patent boots/h&m… faux leather satchel/nica

4 responses to “Winter Blues”

  1. Cat says:

    I used to feel that way while I was studying for my Masters – days spent on my own, sat at my desk at home, with nothing but my textbooks and the cat for company, really took a toll on my mental health (and I’d never had any previous anxiety issues). I’d venture outside and feel overwhelmed, it felt odd and at the time I didn’t really understand it. After my exams, I looked back at the last miserable year and realised that a life in academia wasn’t for me – eventually I applied for jobs in private practice and now I’m much happier. Sometimes it’s more insightful to know what you don’t like and what you don’t want than to know exactly what you do want. Take this time to figure it out and don’t feel bad about the choices you’ve made, they’re all part of the journey xx

  2. Gloria says:

    Hi

    Hope that you get your passport sorted out – officialdom can be hard work eh? Hope that you are soon a lot happier where you are – it is so hard when a dream becomes a bit of a nightmare isn’t it? Take care.

  3. Lovely photos! I know how you feel, I always get the winter blues. I guess the grass is always greener!

  4. peasoupeats says:

    Oh gosh, what a nice response, I really appreciate it!

    Cat – I think you’re spot on in what you said, I’m absolutely convinced all this alone time is making me anxious. I too have never experienced anything like this before, which is why it’s so unnerving. And whilst I hate big crowds I’ve come to realise I do really crave the company of others… thanks so much for your comment, it really helped!

    Gloria – Me too, I cannot wait until this passport saga is over! It’s disappointing that things haven’t gone as smoothly as we had hoped but we’re not throwing the towel in just yet. I think once I get over this hump it may become the dream life we so desire.

    Amy – Thank you, so pleased you like them:) Too true, the grass is absolutely always greener, I just need to keep reminding myself why we did this in the first place I think.

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